Feb 04 2010

Thorpe Park Security – are they animals?

Published by Alan under Humour, Rants Share on Facebook

Thorpe Park security guard changes his name to AnimalOkay, the heading is a bit harsh I know. But, it’s no secret that I have a bit of an issue with the professional standards and methods employed by Thorpe Park Security (click to read the original post) after my visit last summer. But, I had to laugh this morning when I stumbled on an article from the Surrey Herald about one of their security staff who has changed his name by deed poll to ‘Animal’.

Yes, it’s true – in fact he has gone a step further and changed original name of ‘Stephen Edmunds’ to ‘Animal Stephen Leonidas Floyd Mayweather McManus Edmunds’.

So good to see they are maintaining such a high standard of recruitment since my visit. It must be really hard for them finding security staff with this level of intelligence. I wonder if he has his new name stitched into his imitation Police style Thorpe Park Security uniform?

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Jan 30 2010

Chavtowns

Published by Alan under Humour Share on Facebook

ChavetteWhat a fantastic website!

I’ve got no work done this morning laughing my way through this – it’s a must see website for anyone in the UK. The reviews of various towns around the country are fantastic, highly amusing – and judging from the places I read that I know, filled with more than a smattering of accuracy.

And it’s not only the articles that are funny – perhaps even more amusing are the comments from people defending their little corner of the green and promised land!

I rarely put comments on sites but couldn’t resist having another dig at Thorpe Park Security, where the page described Chertsey as being “One third pikey scum another is full of chavs and chavettes and the remaining minority are pretty decent folk. I guess if that’s the pool Thorpe Park recruitment people have to choose from – it explains a lot!

Hat’s off to whoever did it – fantastic idea and a great read!

If you’ve got half an hour or more to kill Chavtowns is a must read!

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Jan 21 2010

The root of all evil?

Adolf HitlerLast night I was sat listening to the Muslim prayers – the Salah on television, and it struck me how really quite poetic they are. It reminded me of a time I walked into the Anglican cathedral in Liverpool and heard a choir rehearsing parts of Mozart’s Requiem, which was extremely haunting especially with the choir out of site. I stood and listened for what felt an age.

I’m not religious, I am seriously not religious – I have loathed organised religion since I was capable of free thought. I can’t stand the notion of faith in a higher being, I can’t stand the way it is used to control people, and I really can’t stand that its followers actually believe that I’m the stupid one. But hell, I can give as good as I get on that score. However, I have to admit that the various religions have given the world some things of real beauty in terms of architecture, art, poetry and music. It’s a pity they couldn’t have done the same for society. Continue Reading »

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Jan 20 2010

Photography

Geoff HoltOne thing not that few people in my current circles know about me was that I originally did a degree in photography – but never chose to follow it as a career. I’ve taken on the occasional project over the years (usually under duress), and have taught the subject (far more appealing to me than the pressures of professional photography) in higher education both in the UK and US… I still keep my hand in for my own pleasure and amusement and sell the occasional image through photo libraries.

I recently wrote about Geoff  Holt’s bid to become the first quadriplegic sailor to cross the Atlantic having met him a few short weeks ago. Over dinner one evening this came up in conversation – a couple of days later Geoff and his PR company asked me to take the official departure pictures of the crew and the boat to be distributed that day to the press. Continue Reading »

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Dec 19 2009

Christmas!

Published by Alan under Ramblings, Rants Share on Facebook

It will probably make me sound like some kind of Scrooge character – but, apart from my kids (and my dad this year who’s staying with us) generally I don’t buy Christmas presents. It seems like a total waste of money to me – and I’m more that a little tired of all the Christmas marketing that seems to start earlier and earlier each year. I tell people not to buy for me but some still do – but I insist if they must that they don’t spend much money.

ChristmasChristmas has  just become so over-commercialized it’s beyond belief. It seems that people all over the world get themselves into financial difficulties because of the intense pressure to spend placed on them by stores and their own family as they feel the need to equal the spend of better off family members.

I also don’t buy into the ‘good will to all men thing’, why the hell can’t we be nice to each other all the time…? And just avoid the people we don’t get on with Christmas holidays or not… The religious aspect is meaningless to me – I’m an atheist – so do not feel the need to celebrate the birth of a fictional historical character. I loved Christmas when my kids were young, but now they are teenagers it’s lost it’s charm!

To tell you the truth I’m not sure what it means to me any more – perhaps all it is to me is a great meal, an excuse to close business down for a few days and take a break, and a bit of time to spend with family (the ones I like), and friends.

As I write this, people the world over buying things they can’t afford for people that in many cases neither need or want their gifts – getting themselves into financial difficulty – whilst elsewhere other people starve.

Christmas! What a load of crap…!!!!

Why not use the money to help people less fortunate than you instead…


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Dec 10 2009

Geoff Holt sets sail across the Atlantic!

Geoff HoltRecently, I wrote a bit about Geoff Holt the quadriplegic sailor preparing to set out to be the first quadriplegic to sail the Atlantic unassisted. Well this morning he set out at 10am local time to do just that – and plans to arrive in Tortola in the British Virgin Islands in 17 days time. As well as the challenge of the expedition, this is a bit of an emotional journey for Geoff as it was in Tortola that Geoff had the accident that caused his disability in 1984.

We only met Geoff a couple of weeks ago – he’s a fantastic guy, great sense of humour, and has a warmth to him that leaves you feeling like you’ve known him for years…

Suffice it is to say that we wish Geoff and his team (personal assistant Susana and cameraman Digby) the best of luck and a safe journey across the pond!

If you’d like to know more about Geoff you can read his story in his book Walking on Water

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Dec 03 2009

My recent catch – a Garfish

Published by Alan under Personal, Sport Share on Facebook

GafishI’ll admit it. I’m not the world’s greatest fisherman. Not by a long way. But I have to say I’m quite proud of this Garfish (88cm) I caught recently.

Having spent many an afternoon fishing for small bait fish and catching either nothing or very little, Sunday was no exception. I’d spend a couple of hours sat there watching my float bob up and down while small fish stole the bait.

Getting a bit tired of this I decided to just put on a bigger hook and more bait – not thinking I’d necessarily catch anything – but felt safe in the knowledge at least if there was a few pieces of bait on the hook I might at least not to have to be brining it in and casting it out every two or three minutes. First cast my float shot under the water within seconds – and I knew I had something half decent as soon as the line went taught.

It was a really fun fish to bring in. If you imagine a mini-swordfish jumping out of the water and throwing it’s head around in anger – that’s about the best way to describe it. Once I’d got it in, I didn’t know quite what to do with it – there was no way I was putting my fingers in that mouth! So – it was soon out of it’s misery and heading for the dinner table next day…

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Nov 28 2009

Geoff Holt

Geoff HoltEvery now and then in life you meet someone who really makes an impression on you. This afternoon I had the pleasure of meeting Geoff Holt and his lovely assistant Susana…

Geoff was the fist quadriplegic to sail single handed around Great Britain – and is currently preparing to become the fist quadriplegic to cross the Atlantic unassisted with the sailing and navigation of the boat. Susana is accompanying Geoff to help with his personal needs

His boat, Impossible Dream, is currently moored at the Rubicon Marina in Lanzarote – you can’t miss it! It’s a seriously impressive catamaran with his name all over it! The 60 foot boat has been purpose built built by a fellow disabled sailor – and is worth, we were told, in the region of £2,000,000!

We wish Geoff and Susana a safe and enjoyable crossing when they set off on the 10th of December and are looking forward to following their adventures on Geoff’s website – www.geoffholt.com

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Nov 21 2009

Review of the bible…

Published by Alan under Humour, Literature Share on Facebook

A review of the bible on Amazon! Classic stuff…

Predictable plot, but surprise ending, November 18, 2007

This seems to be one of those books people seem to either love or hate. But first with the good points. Impatient readers will be happy to see that the plot gets off with a bang: within the first few pages the apple has been eaten and evil is let into the world. We watch as the two main characters Adam and Eve have children and struggle with domestic violence, commencing in the murder of their son Abel by their other son Cain. However, God, a character with the power of omniscience, quickly discerns the culprit, ruining what could have been a great detective story. The first portion of the book, called the Old Testament, relies heavily on constantly shifting alliances between God and the human characters and intense action sequences to hold the reader’s attention. We see two cities get wiped off the map and even a global flood, as well as some epic but quickly glossed over battle sequences. Continue Reading »

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Nov 11 2009

Lest we forget…

Published by Alan under Ramblings Share on Facebook

veterans

Each British generation has it’s wars that affect our lives. For my Grandfather it was WWI and WWII, for my father it would be WWII onwards through Northern Ireland to the present, for my generation the Falklands onwards through Bosnia, the Gulf and others – and for the current generation it is now Afghanistan and Iraq (again)…

Whatever you may feel about the politics of current situations – we should never forget those young men and women who have and still are willing to put their lives on the line for your freedom, your safety, and your right to free speech.

Come home safe boys and girls!

In peace the sons bury their fathers, but in war the fathers bury their sons

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