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Dear Merseyside Police. Why has this violent criminal not been arrested?

I’m not a football fan. On the whole (apart from major international tournaments) it passes me by. I couldn’t give a damn.

How to fight like a girl!I am however, rather sick of hearing all this Luis Suarez bollocks. I’d have loved to see him pull that kind of stunt on the likes of Razor Ruddock or Vinnie Jones, or one of the other ‘real men’ of football – somehow I suspect he may have wound up on his girlie South American arse.

Forget the 10 match ban (I actually think he should have been banned from English football for life), forget any fines, forget the fact that he clearly is a big girl (hair pulling and scratching next?). The thing that’s really baffling me right now is why the f**k has  this prick not been arrested?

Assault? ABH? Surely the Police must have enough on ‘CCTV’ to prosecute? I’ve seen people go to jail for less…. Or, are these fu**ers above the law?

If on reading this you are also wondering, you can contact Merseyside Police via Twitter @MerseyPolice. I have, I’m awaiting their response with baited breath! 🙂