St Valentine’s Day, what a crock of sh*t!
I have just turned Facebook off for the day due to a barrage of photographs of ‘flowers from my wonderful husband/boyfriend’, and statements of undying love for respective spouses, so much openly stated emotion is not natural. Good god man we’re British!
I have to disconnect for the day, literally and metaphorically. Give it another fifteen minutes and said flowers would be in the background of a ‘duck face’ selfie! That would just be a ‘cheese overload’ for me. After that comes the competition…..
- “mine is taking me for dinner”
- “mine is taking me to dinner and to see the new Jennifer Aniston romcom”
- “mine is taking me to dinner and a show” (sweetheart wake up and smell the coffee, if he’s taking you to a show it’s only a matter of time before the closet door opens)
- “mine is taking me to dinner – in Venice!”
- “mine bought me a helicopter”
…and on it goes. It’s not an celebration, it’s a fcuking competition, and a very costly one too.
It’s nothing to do with love, respect or romance. It’s a totally over commercialized none event designed to prise money out of peoples pockets. Hell, it makes Christmas look like it means something. I’m not a Christian of any particular brand so why the hell would I want to celebrate a Saint’s Day? And, I certainly will not allow Clinton Cards or a florist (charging double what they will be tomorrow) to turn me upside down and empty my pockets. Nor do I feel the need to compete for a table in a restaurant only to be surrounded by doe eyed ring brandishing idiots with much to learn, or older couples who have run out of things to talk about but still go through the motions every year.
Okay, being honest, as a younger (I would say less cynical here, but that would be a lie) chap I did participate, mostly for the following reasons…
- to keep a regular girlfriend, live in bird or new wife happy (i.e. not moaning)
- get laid by regular girlfriend, live in bird or new wife
- get laid by A.N. Other girl
Any option would be a result. However, the fact was that it never caused me anything but bother. If regular girlfriend, live in bird or new wife get a card from elsewhere that’s flattering. If we blokes get one it’s fcking Armageddon!
Due to that, coupled with my aversion to spending copious amounts of cash through an unwritten, unsaid law, that I must, I knocked the whole thing on the head a long time ago.
Early rules with any new woman used to be…. “I’ve got kids, my best mate is a girl, and I don’t do Valentine’s Day – if you can get along with that we’ll do fine”. Don’t believe me? Ask Elle.
They don’t call me Mr Romance for nothing. In fact they don’t call me Mr Romance at all…. I wonder why not?
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If you are reading this and have absolutely no idea what Valentine’s Day really is about (pretty much everyone I’m guessing) you might want to read about it on Wikipedia