Today I turn 50, and frankly I couldn’t give a damn. I had my real crisis at 40 at which point I thought life was pretty much over! In all honesty, I spent several weeks in a drunken stupor unable to accept at the time my youth, and my life, were coming to an end. When I sobered up I realized, in no uncertain terms, that I was an idiot and that I was only 24 hours older than I had been the day before! I’m cool with 50…
- Met the woman I perhaps always needed to be with. (No disrespect to any of the previous ladies with whom things might have worked out given a different time, place, or set of circumstances. They would know who they were if they were reading this. As does one particularly needy, self-obsessed, disturbed crazy woman exempt from that statement!)
- We moved to Lanzarote, started a business from scratch which continues to thrive, and made some incredible friends.
- I’ve done some serious long distance walking and wrote a book about it. In doing so I had the joy of raising a reasonable amount of money for charity.
- I’ve seen my three children turn from boys into men, and watched my two step-sons flourish.
- I’ve become a grandfather!
- I’ve become a ‘father’ to three incredible hounds!
- Last year we moved to mainland Spain (time for a new adventure!)
- …and more!
What’s not to feel good about?! I haven’t even mentioned the plans already under-way for making the next 10 years are just as exciting and fulfilling.
What I will not be doing is;
- Starting an over 50 insurance plan to pay for funeral expenses – stick your free Parker pen up your arses insurance advertisers!
- Making any serious plans for retirement, although I don’t rule out semi-retirement, should the opportunity arise (so I can do some other things I’ve long wanted to do which have been sat on a proverbial shelf for far too long – NOT sit on my backside)
- I am also not planning on any Saga holidays or any other over 50s (sic) style holidays any time soon. I’d rather stick needles in my eyes!
- Taking up bridge, playing bingo or sitting around doing anything else with people who smell of pee!
Anyone who thinks 50 is old these days is, quite frankly, a twat! I’m still in good shape, as ambitious and driven as ever, and in my own head haven’t changed a bit since my early 30s.
I hate the phrase ‘age is just a number’. Age is a state of mind, and nothing more. I may be past half way now, but fcuk it. Bring it on.
Donations to my bar tab can be sent via PayPal! 😉